


Blessed are the Foolish

by UmiHinode



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-05-13 20:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmiHinode/pseuds/UmiHinode
Summary: An angel, a demon, and the Antichrist, all under one roof, and with Armageddon just days away. What could possibly go wrong?--A Good Omens AU, though no knowledge of the series is necessary.





	1. the beginning of the end

Any other demon would kill to get their hands on the Antichrist (full name The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness) but Izaya was, in fact, not any other demon.

And yet, with a snap of his fingers, he, the Antichrist, and the angel Shizuo manifested into his apartment in Shinjuku like it was no big deal. (At the very least there was no killing involved.) As it was his idea to steal the child, Shizuo had been the one to perform the angelic miracle that knocked the Antichrist unconscious, while Izaya was in charge of their escape route. Equivalent exchange. It shocked Izaya, really; Shizuo could be so stubborn, and rarely used his powers, especially not at Izaya's request. ( _"The last thing I want to do is fall like you did,"_ he had told Izaya, to which Izaya replied,  _"I didn't so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards."_ )

Shizuo had scoffed in return. Really, he could be quite the horrible listener. As Izaya wasn't your typical demon, Shizuo certainly wasn't your average angel. Honestly, it was a miracle he hadn't been cast down into Hell yet. Maybe then he'd stop complaining about being vaguely allied with Izaya.

...Well, six thousand years had passed since their first meeting, and their bickering had yet to cease, so Izaya wouldn't hold his breath. Besides, 'vaguely' was no longer the right word to use. They  _had_ just kidnapped the Antichrist together.

As he gazed down at the peacefully sleeping child that he had laid down on Izaya's couch with the care you'd find in a parent, Shizuo murmured, "Christ, we just stole a kid."

Izaya cracked a smile. "Language, angel."

"Shut up, Demon."

With a sigh, Izaya slid his fur coat off his shoulders and cradled it. Unusual uncertainty overtook him, and he was left with no choice but to ask, "So, what now?"

Perhaps they should have thought this through a little more.

. . .

After eleven years of influencing the ordinary human child they had both believed to be the Antichrist, it had come to Shizuo and Izaya's attention that Kuronuma Aoba was not the boy who would start Armageddon. (Although he very well could. Izaya had watched him set fire to his older brother's room with a smile that was anything but innocent. That was only the beginning.)

Izaya had, by some miracle, discovered the whereabouts of the true Antichrist, Ryuugamine Mikado, and learned that he wasn't too far away. All along he had been in the neighboring district of Ikebukuro, Izaya's home away from home, and Shizuo's, well, home. Heaven had hardly been a home for either of them. Perhaps that helped explained, on some basic level, how the two of them managed to tolerate each other enough to continue meeting up every once in a while after all this time.

Not that either would admit it.  _Especially_  not Shizuo.

Shizuo could count on his hands how many days he had left to channel his inner angel (something that should have been easy, as he  _was_  an angel) and snap some sense into this oblivious child so that he wouldn't summon the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and ultimately end the world via the vicious battle Heaven and Hell so desperately craved. It was all part of the Ineffable Plan, something that in the far earlier years of his life Shizuo might have found some way to justify, but in recent years had grown to loathe, possibly even more than he did Izaya.

All he wanted was to live a peaceful life. No Angels, no Demons, no war.

 _"You've spent so much time here that you've deluded yourself into thinking you're human,"_ Izaya had told him one day.  _"But you're not. You never will be."_

Lord, was he absolutely insufferable. Some days Shizuo hoped that time could reverse itself and make it so that he had never met the serpent in the Garden of Eden that would soon become the unrelenting thorn in his side, but time was something not even their kind could conquer. He had already narrowly avoided ending up on God's metaphorical doorstep enough times; he wasn't about to do anything else that could lead him down that path.

You know, except kidnap the Antichrist and go against God's direct orders.

Well, things were off to a rather good start. The child hadn't woken up screaming as he had feared.

"Where am I?" Ryuugamine Mikado had asked rather calmly considering his circumstances. Yup, definitely the Antichrist. And that wasn't even including the fact that his name meant 'emperor of the dragon's peak.' His parents were unknowingly eerily perceptive. "And who are you?"

Shizuo managed a faint smile in hopes of reassuring him. "Sorry for scaring you, kid. An emergency came up and we'll be taking care of you while your parents are away."

Izaya snickered from across the room. Shizuo shot him a glare. Mikado, noticing their silent conversation, asked again, "Who are you?"

"I'm Shizuo, and that's Izaya," Shizuo said. "We're family friends." Still rather uncertain, Mikado nodded in reply, prompting Shizuo to add, "Just let us know if you need anything."

"Actually..." Mikado started. "If it's not too much trouble, I'm supposed to meet up with my friends later."

 _Please, God, be human friends. Please._ Shizuo prayed. They had been fortunate enough to separate Mikado from his Hellhound, but Shizuo didn't exactly doubt his ability to summon the Four Horsemen without it. Smiling as if he didn't have a care in the world, Shizuo said, "Not at all."

 _What are you doing?_ Izaya's stare seemed to say. Shizuo returned his glance, sheepish.

One surprisingly delicious breakfast later, courtesy of Izaya, and Mikado was out of the house, strolling the streets as a man on a mission. After giving him enough time to wander off without arousing suspicion, Shizuo and Izaya followed suit, keeping their distance but staying close enough to keep a good eye out. Of course they had already failed step one. Of course. Shizuo wasn't about to make the child uneasy, however. Antichrist or not, he was just a kid.

"You know," said Izaya. "For an angel, you're pretty good at lying."

"Guess you're rubbing off on me."

Shizuo missed Izaya's prideful smirk, his attention solely on Mikado.

Mikado's friends were, much to Shizuo's relief, not the Four Horsemen. Instead, they were a perfectly normal trio composed of Kida Masaomi, Sonohara Anri, and Mikajima Saki, three ordinary human children who just happened to have a completely unordinary friend.

Ordinary, save for the fact that they were a part of a gang Mikado had founded and named the Dollars, a name that belonged not just to this group of kids but to the most infamous color gang in Ikebukuro. Shizuo wasn't one to believe in coincidence. Everything happened for a reason.

"Kids will be kids," Izaya murmured, not at all trying to hide his enthusiasm.

Frowning, Shizuo said, "Don't get any ideas. We're trying to stop Armageddon, remember."

Izaya shrugged. "That doesn't mean I can't have a little fun."

It absolutely meant that Izaya couldn't have a little fun, but Shizuo knew there was no stopping him. All they had to do was be quiet and keep their distance; close enough to know what was going on, but far enough away that Mikado wouldn't notice. He had proven himself to be quite perceptive right off the bat. As long as they didn't let him out of their sight, Shizuo kept his anger in check, and Izaya channeled his angelic roots, they should be fine.

Well, that was what Shizuo thought before the Hellhound appeared.

For a moment - just a second, really - he thought he felt Izaya's hand grip his shoulder tightly. When he turned to face him, he felt the color leave his face as he realized Izaya was actually holding onto him. He had never seen him so afraid before. Actually, now that he thought about it, he had never seen him afraid period. Cautiously, he asked, "Izaya?"

"What?" Izaya's voice was as steady as he spoke.

"I should be asking you that," Shizuo replied. "What's going on?"

Izaya, finally realizing he was digging his nails into Shizuo's shoulder, pulled his hand away and crossed his arms, grumbling in a low whisper, "I don't like dogs."

"You have  _got_ to be kidding me."

Seven days until Armageddon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to make a habit of posting multi-chapter works while they're unfinished again, but I had to make an exception with this one. The idea just clicked in my head and suddenly, everything made sense. I had so much fun writing this chapter and I can't wait to see what I can do with this story. In my opinion this is honestly shaping up to be my best work yet; I hope I can keep it that way.
> 
> A lot of things in this story will be different from Good Omens (they already are), so if you haven't seen/read it yet, don't be too concerned about spoilers for the time being. And if you don't care about spoilers, great! But seriously, if you haven't yet, please go watch it. It's only six episodes long and it is _amazing_. I bought the book immediately after finishing it if that's any incentive. I'd love to write something for the ineffable husbands that stole my heart, but for now I'll see how things play out in the DRRR universe.
> 
> I can't promise regular updates. I wish I could, but I'm basically throwing myself into this blindfolded. Just know that I absolutely adore this concept, and I hope you do too! I've been possessed by some intense desire to write (this is the third fic i've put out in three days, something that has never happened before) so hopefully I can keep that up! And for those of you who are waiting for more of The Story is Eternal, don't worry! I'm nowhere near done with it yet. If all goes to plan I should have the next chapter out on July 16th.
> 
> If you enjoyed this, kudos, bookmarks, and comments are highly appreciated. I'll hopefully be back with another chapter soon!


	2. no man is an island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was nothing short of a miracle.
> 
> izaya could only hope it stayed that way.

If you want to get technical, our story begins six thousand years ago on Sunday, October 21st, 4004 B.C., the day of the Earth's birth and thus the day God's Divine Plan was placed into motion. Our key players: Shizuo, the angel responsible for overseeing the Garden of Eden, and Izaya, the demon responsible for tempting the first humans. Izaya's job was almost  _too_ easy, really; and yet, such a simple action cemented the beginning of humanity, and with it, a twisted curiosity that would soon become love.

'The one who watches over the crowd.' His name could not have been more perfect. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to spend some time on Earth, Izaya decided. See what these humans were capable of.

Although, the humans weren't the only ones to captivate him that day.

Noticing the angel on duty, Izaya joined him at the gates. Shizuo raised his brows as the serpent beside him morphed into a man, and for a moment, he thought he recognized this demon; likewise, Izaya had thought he had recognized him. Instead of starting some dry conversation of  _"Do I know you?",_ Izaya instead asked, "Aren't you supposed to have a flaming sword?" He could have sworn he had heard something about a flaming sword, and yet, the angel was empty handed.

Stunned, Shizuo took a moment to respond. "I...gave it away," he eventually said, unable to look Izaya in the eyes.

"You  _what_?" Izaya couldn't recall the last time he had smiled this genuinely. Who in their right mind gave away a weapon given to them by God Herself? Izaya had believed himself to be done fraternizing with angels, but evidently he couldn't stay away much longer.

Having completely misinterpreted Izaya's reaction, Shizuo attempted to justify his actions. "I didn't trust myself with it, and they're gonna get cold..."

_Didn't trust yourself with it?_ Izaya wanted to pry, though he kept himself silent, meeting Shizuo with pure intrigue. Shizuo, unfortunately, took this as him being taunted, a reaction that would set in stone their relationship for the following six thousand years. They were never quite on the same page.

Whereas Shizuo didn't believe in coincidence, Izaya had spent enough time studying and growing to understand humans that he had learned that in their powerless world, coincidence was a very powerful and very real thing. Coincidence had brought the two of them together far too many times, after all.

"It's all according to plan," Shizuo had said in the beginning, ever a stickler for the rules. It almost made Izaya question the abnormality he had sensed in Shizuo when they had first met; now he just seemed like every other angel.

Well, maybe not  _just_ like every other angel.

In actuality, Heaven and Hell were far from the story humans had fabricated over the past several centuries. Heaven was not a paradise up in the clouds, nor was Hell a scorching cesspool of suffering. Not exactly, at least. They were, however, two halves of the same whole. The same office building, to be exact. Heaven made up the top floors, while the demons of Hell resided below. Izaya had been quick to learn in his long life as both an angel and demon that things were not a matter of good versus evil in that Heaven was purely good and Hell was purely evil. He had grown to loathe both sides, only ever returning for paperwork purposes. Existing as either an angel or a demon meant only one thing to every occupant of that office building: winning the war.

Izaya supposed he'd rather watch World War III tear the world apart than Armageddon. At least then the humans would be in control of their destiny.

Though he often claimed (and Shizuo accused him of) otherwise for the sake of saving his skin, Izaya was not responsible for the majority of the world's tragedies. His real specialty? Minor inconveniences. Humans did most everything themselves. All Izaya had to do was throw in some matches from time to time. The hotter the honeymoon, the higher the flames of despair, after all.

Thus was how the demon Izaya lived his life. Shizuo was really no different from him in that respect. While Izaya worked as an informant, Shizuo worked as a bartender, both of their lives intertwined with the unique humans of Ikebukuro. How they ended up there, however, is a story for another time...

. . .

In a way, the story also begins in the year 1915 upon the publication of  _The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Kishitani Shingen_. Due to Shingen's infamy as the town idiot, known for spouting nonsense about how the gods talked to him all while wandering around preaching in the recently invented gas mask  _("You'll understand one day!"_  he'd shout), no copies of the book sold. Only one remains in existence. Said copy has been passed down through the Kishitani family in the century since, now finding itself in the hands of one Hijiribe Ruri, Shingen's great-great-great-granddaughter.

Shingen didn't quite spout nonsense, however. Every single prophecy within the pages of his book had come true - a secret believed to only be known to the Kishitanis, though Izaya had his sources.  _The Nice and Accurate Prophecies_ was the one and only prophetic work not in Izaya's possession, and naturally it had to be the only one that was without a doubt, legitimately nice and accurate. This was the book that would foretell every single event leading up to Armageddon, and he had not a clue that the book had been passed down through Shingen's family. Even working as an informant didn't make him all-knowing, unfortunately. He had spent a good deal of the past century searching the world for this one book, but to no avail. Eleven years prior he had decided to cease his search, dedicating all of his time and energy to Kuronuma Aoba, the supposedly more worthwhile cause. After eras wandering the world, he'd finally settle down in Shinjuku, just to stay close to Aoba, and nothing more.

So he had thought. If there was any place in the world that would have that book, it would be Ikebukuro, just a stones throw away. He'd keep his distance, but stay close enough to be in the know.

(And, perhaps it would be worth repeating that Shizuo lives in Ikebukuro.)

. . .

Saturday, July 24th, 2004: the day the supposed Antichrist Kuronuma Aoba was brought into the world.

Izaya had been the one to deliver the Antichrist to the the church The Chattering Order of St. Beryl, naturally a group of Satanic nuns, were occupying. There, two families awaited the birth of their baby boy: the Kuronumas and the Ryuugamines. Thanks to some pulled strings on the nuns' part, the Antichrist was to reside with the prestigious Kuronuma family, while the legitimate Kuronuma child would go off to an orphanage. The Ryuugamine child was not meant to be involved at all, and yet, as Izaya had learned, that was not the case.

Thus began his and Shizuo's eleven-year long plan to help raise the Antichrist, swaying him just enough to the side of good and just enough to the side of evil that their influences would cancel each other out, making Aoba a rather normal boy, considering he had the power to destroy the Earth.

Apparently Izaya's - Nanny Ashtoreth's, rather - influence had been a little too strong. Shizuo's jaw had dropped as he opened the door to reveal the fire consuming Aoba's brother Ran's room, while Izaya held back a snicker with much effort. Izaya would admit he was rather curious to see what trouble Aoba would get into now, but at the same time, he couldn't help disliking the child as much as Aoba intrigued him. Even with Shizuo also influencing him all these years, he still ended up a little too much like Izaya for his liking.

That aside, it was so nice to finally cut his hair now that he was out of character. He had let it get much too long for his liking - though he had looked rather good.

After the Hellhound failed to show up to Aoba's 11th birthday party, Izaya knew something was off. Fortunately, thanks to a quick search through the church's archives, he had managed to discover the identities of the other family that had been inside the church that night all those years ago. With a snap of his fingers, Ryuugamine Tatsuya and Hiromi were frozen in time, and with Shizuo's help, Mikado was taken to his apartment without issue. Considering their horrific track record with plans, this was nothing short of a miracle.

Izaya could only hope it stayed that way.

. . .

Unfortunately for them, Shizuo and Izaya weren't the only ones preparing for what was to come.

A lone woman traversed through Western Africa in a pickup truck loaded with weapons in search of a remote country amidst a minor civil war. Wherever war was, no matter how minor, she followed - occasionally; she mostly started.

Once she reached her destination, the country collapsed within three days.

Karisawa Erika grinned to herself as she sped through all that remained, bidding farewell to the first country to fall beneath her feet in this calm before the storm.

...

In America, a young man smiled as he signed a copy of his book for a fan. The book's title?  _Foodless Dieting: Slim Yourself Beautiful._ The fan? Practically a walking skeleton. The man smiled, his eyes not opening once as he spoke to the woman who claimed that he had changed her life. Certainly he had, but not for the reasons she was gushing about.

It wasn't until the woman left that Yumasaki Walker opened his eyes, surveying the scene around him. Despite being filled with people, there was nothing but a bare plate to be found all around the restaurant Top of the Sixes, conveniently located on 666 Fifth Avenue. Humans were just so  _gullible,_ it was ridiculous. Thus was why he had grown to appreciate 2D above all else - though humans were still fun to mess with. For him, this was the best kind of torture.

...

Tossing bags upon bags of trash into the ocean was a man deemed rather unremarkable by those who crossed his path. His name is Togusa Saburo, though it's quite alright if you forget - he's used to it. Fortunately for him, this makes his job easy. Not a soul seems to care about poisoned water supplies, habitat degradation, and most importantly, global warming. Saburo was unremarkable, after all. He might as well have been invisible even standing on the edge of the world's most popular beach.

...

Everywhere and nowhere, their leader waited.

. . .

We resume our story on Sunday, July 26th, 2015, seven days before Armageddon.

Aside from the sudden appearance of the Hellhound (a rather adorable and seemingly harmless black and white Jack Russell Terrier that Mikado had named Taro) and Izaya regretfully revealing his fear of dogs, Mikado's meeting with his friends had been rather uneventful. As Izaya had said, kids will be kids, and they certainly were. Thanks to yet another miracle on Izaya's end, he and Shizuo returned to his apartment just as Mikado had left to return back. Now they just had to hope he hadn't noticed them. They  _were_  known to stand out from time to time, even with the ability to conceal their presence. The perks of having two larger than life personalities between them, Izaya supposed.

There wasn't a hint of emotion in Mikado's face as he opened the door. Izaya didn't look at Shizuo, Shizuo didn't look at Izaya. No more telling looks.

"So..." Shizuo started awkwardly. "How was it?"

Mikado shrugged. "Fine."

"Oh, you have a dog," Izaya said, his voice once again surprisingly steady. He made incredibly brief eye contact with Taro, and swore he could feel the dog staring into his soul. Strange, because if there was anyone the Hellhound should have a problem with, it would be the angel directly across from him, but Taro didn't even flinch in Shizuo's presence.

Blushing slightly, Mikado replied, "Sorry, can I not have him here?"

"No, it's fine," Shizuo reassured him, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Izaya.

_Bastard._

"Hey, can I...ask you both something?"

Bracing himself for the worst, Izaya said, "Go right ahead."

"Are you two together?"

Shizuo spit out his drink, promptly choking as a result. While he couldn't get a word otherwise out, Izaya said, "We are." Shizuo, still coughing horrendously, could only glare daggers at Izaya, earning a wink in response, barely visible underneath his sunglasses.

Mikado raised his eyebrows, not saying a word in response. While Shizuo began to recover, Izaya took Mikado by the hand and led him to what he had very quickly turned into a guest room in the middle of the night, filled with enough of Mikado's belongings to hold him over for a week. As Mikado settled in, faithfully joined by Taro, Izaya sauntered back to his office.

Instantly, Shizuo said, "What the  _hell._ "

Izaya shrugged nonchalantly. "You were a little busy preparing to be discoporated, so unfortunately for you, I had to take matters into my own hands."

Shizuo, throwing his hands up and yelling as loud as he could while whispering, said, "You could have said  _no_!"

"I live to annoy."

Shizuo paused to take in a deep breath. Eerily calm, he replied, "You'll be lucky if I don't kill you before the week is over."

Laughing, Izaya said, "You like me too much."

Crushing the cup he had been holding with one hand, Shizuo asked, "Wanna say that again?"

Izaya fell silent, smiling all the while.

. . .

Elsewhere in Ikebukuro, Hijiribe Ruri sat on a bench in Nishiguchi Park, flipping through  _The Nice and Accurate Prophecies_ of her not-so-crazy great-great-great-grandfather in hopes of finding the prophecy for the day. She had been so busy with work that she had nearly forgotten all about the book, and the sun was setting behind her.

After frantically flipping through the pages, she finally found the date. With it,  _"Beware of what only you can see."_

Perhaps it was a good thing no copies of the book sold, Ruri thought to herself.

. . .

Mikado had gotten quite used to waking up to knocking on his window in the middle of the night, but he hadn't expected tonight to be one of those nights. With a hint of a sigh, Mikado crawled out of bed and tiptoed to the window, opening it to reveal a beaming Masaomi out on the fire escape.

"Kida-kun, I'm really tired," Mikado mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. "Besides, I don't want to worry Izaya-san and Shizuo-san if they wake up."

"Come on," Masaomi said indignantly. "It'll be fun!"

He always did have a hard time telling Masaomi no.

Without another word, Masaomi helped Mikado onto the fire escape, closing the window with care before taking him by the hand and leading him down the steps. When they reached the bottom, Anri and Saki were there waiting for them. Anri looked like she was about to fall asleep standing up, just as Mikado did, and that finally managed to bring a smile to his face. Now united, the Them, as the city had grown to call them, headed out into the night.

"What are we doing?" Anri asked, yawning as she did so.

Masaomi giggled, turning around to face everyone, now walking backwards without a care in the world. "So, get this. I was thinking-" Before he could finish his sentence, he was suddenly on the ground. Behind him was the woman he had bumped into, desperately reaching out for the loose papers and magazines that now flooded the street.

Both embarrassed by Masaomi's carelessness and out of consideration for this woman, Mikado got down on his knees and asked, "Are you okay?"

When she looked up at him, Mikado swore he had seen pure terror in her eyes.

"Yes, thank you," The woman replied, any trace of said terror in her meek voice erased.

"Let me help you!" Masaomi chimed in, grabbing as much as he could. Mikado didn't have to look to know that Saki had rolled her eyes, only to smile afterward. Mikado too reached out to help, though before he handed everything back, he lingered on some of the titles. Dullahans, vampires, demonic blades, werewolves...it was all nonsense.

Right?

"Thanks for helping me," The woman said once all of her belongings were cradled in her arms once more. With only a wave of farewell, she was gone, just another passing face in the crowd. Curious, Mikado watched her go, only looking away when Masaomi tugged at his sleeve.

"So anyway, like I was saying-"

. . .

The second she got home, Ruri threw all of her papers down onto her kitchen table, unable to care that she had just spent all that time gathering them again. Her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest, and she could only stand there, breathing ragged.

"What...the hell was that aura?" She asked herself, a smile dangerously close to being called deranged forming as she spoke.

Darkness was the best way to describe it. All consuming darkness. She had seen countless auras in her life (perhaps the only perk of being related to Kishitani Shingen, she'd say), and none of them had ever come anywhere near this.

Finally, it dawned on her.  _No. He couldn't be._ She told herself, reaching for  _The Nice and Accurate Prophecies_ and flipping back to the prophecy for the day. She had known her entire life that Armageddon would occur this week - it was why she had even moved to Ikebukuro in the first place - and yet the prospect of it actually happening seemed so far off.

For now, she'd just have to believe in Shingen and fate, and neither were all that reassuring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took so long with this chapter! It took a while for everything to fall into place, even though it's just an info dump - which, sorry for that too. There's a lot to set up here, but hopefully things will get rolling soon. I have big plans for this story - I just hope I can get to that point.
> 
> And so the creative liberties really begin to flood in! Some notes in case anyone's interested: Ruri was originally going to be Kazane, but I decided that Ruri was a better fit. Because of that I've had to mess with the Kishitani family tree a bit, but hey, it's an AU. I of course had to push the publication of The Nice and Accurate Prophecies back solely so Shingen could have his gas mask. It's what he would want. Yes, Izaya's sunglasses are Shizuo's. And yes, I know that the dates don't line up with either Mikado or Aoba's birthdays - there's a reason for that, and I'll get to that when it's time.
> 
> Okay. I'm done.
> 
> Almost.
> 
> On another note, I am beyond happy to announce that I'll be writing for the DRRR fanzine Urban Legend! This project is filled with so many passionate people and I'm honored to work with them. If you're interested, be sure to check out the zine's Twitter (DurararaZine) and Tumblr (durararazine) accounts.
> 
> I will be prioritizing my zine piece, so I imagine that updates for all of my stories will be delayed for a little while. Though you never know - I could get hit with another intense wave of inspiration. We'll just have to see. Thank you so much for reading, and I'll hopefully be back soon!


	3. stand by me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "there's only _our_ side!"

A sneaking suspicion kept Shizuo up half the night.

He couldn't quite describe this feeling; all he knew was that something was most certainly wrong. It didn't help that laying down on Izaya's floor was already keeping him from sleeping (" _Well, we have to keep up the act,_ " Izaya told him, letting out an over-exaggerated sigh that Shizuo had no choice but to brush aside. Izaya was the smart one, after all - Shizuo was just along for the ride, so he told himself). After spending hours upon hours tossing and turning, movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he bolted up. Sure enough, there, under the light of the nearby buildings, was Mikado climbing up the fire escape.

Hesitant, Shizuo looked to Izaya, who had passed out cold - rather unusual behavior for him. Shizuo frowned upon realizing that must have been because he had used up so much of his power in just the past 24 hours. It especially wasn't easy to keep two whole human beings in stasis for this long, and he'd have to keep pushing forward until this was all done and over with. Though guilt gnawed at him, Shizuo said nothing, lingering in the doorway for a moment as he decided to leave Izaya be. Warily, Shizuo tiptoed to Mikado's makeshift room, using utmost care to open the door as quietly as possible.

When he opened the door, Mikado had already thrown himself under the covers, squinting his eyes shut in hopes of giving the impression that he was asleep. Amused, Shizuo laughed to himself, and Mikado stirred underneath the covers.

"Kid."

At a loss, Mikado revealed himself, guilt written all over the poor kid's face. When he didn't respond, Shizuo pressed on. "Is everything okay?"

"Y-Yes! Sorry."

Shizuo removed himself from the doorway, realizing that his distance and crossed arms were more than likely going to make this more difficult than it had to be. With respect for Mikado's space, Shizuo sat down on the far edge of the bed, close enough, but not too much so. "You don't have to sneak out, you know."

Mikado stiffened. "You saw..." Immediately he bowed his head. "I'm sorry! Kida-kun really wanted me to go, and-"

"Hey. It's okay. Calm down." Shizuo extended a hand to him, though he was quick to change his mind, letting his arm fall awkwardly to his side.  _Is he_ really _the Antichrist?_  Shizuo wondered, eyeing Mikado inquisitively. He had been certain mere hours ago, but there was something about the child that seemed...off. Could they really have made yet another mistake, and at such a crucial time? Perhaps that was the feeling that had begun stirring inside of him, his intuition warning him before it was too late.

Shizuo let out a long yawn as he rose from the bed, giving Mikado one last look. "You should get some sleep."

Mikado nodded. "I will. Thank you."

Doubt clouding his mind, Shizuo returned to Izaya's room and threw the blanket Izaya had given him over himself, hoping that sleep would soon finally claim him.

. . .

"And then I told Shizu-chan- ah, speak of the devil."

Shizuo had awoken to the smell of pancakes and found himself stumbling out of Izaya's room without a second thought. Peering out over the ledge of the second floor, he could see Izaya and Mikado seated at the table where Izaya kept his inexplicable game board that, even after all this time, Shizuo had yet to decipher. Izaya had stopped spinning around in his chair once he noticed Shizuo, flashing him a satisfied smirk, amused by his own statement.

"You're not funny, you know," Shizuo called to him as he made his way downstairs. "And dare I even ask what story you're telling him."

"Oh, nothing special," came Izaya's reply. "Just that time you launched a man so fast all of his clothes somehow came off." Shizuo clenched his fists, using all of his willpower to hold back an agitated groan. Of course it was that story. Heaven forbid Izaya make him look good. To Mikado, Izaya said, "He can be pretty scary, so be careful around him."

"Whatever," Shizuo muttered, walking past without a glance in his direction.

"I don't think he's that scary."

Stopping dead in his tracks, Shizuo turned to face Mikado, pinching his arm in the process. He  _was_  still half-asleep. There was no way he heard Mikado right.

To Shizuo's relief, Izaya hadn't seen him pinch himself, or else he would have said something. "Oh?" He asked. "What makes you say that?"

Mikado shuffled awkwardly in his seat. "I don't know. He just...seems nice."

Shizuo said nothing. He  _couldn't_  say anything. He merely resumed his walk to the kitchen, the promise of pancakes calling out to him, though his awe didn't stop there. Waiting for him on the counter was a plate of pancakes, decorated with just enough whip cream and strawberries on top for his liking, and a glass of strawberry milk.

He was definitely still asleep.

Dazed, Shizuo gathered his meal and took a seat in the chair beside Mikado, thankful that he had a buffer between him and Izaya. Izaya was just so damn  _confusing_. One minute he'd do something that reinforced the idea that he was the worst man Shizuo had ever met, and in the next, he'd make Shizuo forget he had felt that way. Being around him was filled with uncertainty, but he was the closest thing Shizuo had to a friend in this world, and he wasn't sure what part of that statement was worse.

A pregnant pause consumed the room, and as soon as Mikado was done eating, he hurriedly washed his dishes and retreated to his room, eager to escape the stifling atmosphere that was simply being with Shizuo and Izaya. When Izaya finished, he too attempted to escape, though Shizuo gestured for him to come back to the kitchen.

In a low voice, Shizuo said, "I don't think he's it."

Izaya's neutral stare became a glare. "What makes you say that?"

Shizuo took a moment to ponder before deciding on, "He seems too good."

Laughing, Izaya said, "Way to stereotype, Shizu-chan. Not everyone can be like Aoba."

"Yeah, I wonder whose fault that was."

Both turned as they caught the sound of Mikado's door opening. Mikado flushed as he pulled the door closed behind him before walking over to the couch as if he were walking through a minefield. Silently, Izaya tilted his head up, his eyes pointing to the second floor. Shizuo nodded in understanding, and together they headed up. Mikado looked over at them briefly, though he turned his head once he caught them looking back. The TV gained his full attention, and Izaya peered over the edge, attempting to figure out what he was watching.

"If Aoba isn't the Antichrist, and Mikado-kun isn't the Antichrist, then who the hell is?" Izaya murmured, resting his arms on the railing that lined the second floor. Shizuo watched as his eyes widened. "Unless... No, even the nuns aren't that stupid."

"Wouldn't that mean the Antichrist was dead?" Shizuo asked.

Relief replaced Izaya's momentary shock. "It has to be Mikado-kun. He has the Hellhound. Besides, for all we know, he could be a very gifted actor."

"Sorry," Shizuo said, turning his back to him as he twirled stray strands of his hair, a nervous habit he hadn't quite been able to drop over the years. "I was stupid to say something."

"Look at it this way," Izaya responded. "If he is as good as you think he is, that makes our job all the more easier." Not waiting for a response, he called out to Mikado, "Mikado-kun, is there anything you want to do today? We could all do something."

Mikado shrugged. "Not particularly..."

"Come on, it's summer vacation. Let's do something. Anywhere you want to go, we'll take you."

After a brief pause, Mikado asked, "Are you sure?"

Izaya nodded. "Positive. Right, Shizu-chan?"

"Sure thing," Shizuo confirmed, without much of a choice.

"Well..."

. . .

If there was anywhere Shizuo was expecting to go, it certainly wasn't the planetarium. Newly reopened after a long period of renovation, he couldn't quite remember when exactly his last visit had been. Admittedly, him and Izaya had been more times than he could count. Aside from Nishiguchi Park, it had been something of a meeting place for them.

They  _had_  helped establish it, after all.

Their first meeting there had been complete coincidence, if Shizuo believed in such a thing. (Spoiler alert: he didn't.) On opening day, he had decided to stop by and visit, only to catch Izaya standing on his own near the back of the main room.

"It's beautiful," Izaya had said once Shizuo got close enough to hear him.

Shizuo laughed. "Complimenting your own work?"

"There's nothing wrong with that," Izaya retorted weakly. "This is really the only place you'll be able to see the stars around here anymore."

"It _is_  beautiful," Shizuo murmured, watching in awe as the lights danced across the ceiling, painting the room in a myriad of celestial hues. For a moment, just a split second, he was reminded of home. Only ever returning for reports, Heaven failed to cross his mind often, but something in the sparkling stars brought him to remember. Part of him had nearly forgotten that there was so much more to the world than just the Earth. As he became cognizant of that fact, Izaya's words from an earlier dispute rang in his ears.  _"You've spent so much time here that you've deluded yourself into thinking you're human. But you're not. You never will be."_

Turning to hide his frown from Izaya, Shizuo asked, "Do you...ever think about what's out there?"

"Humans are all I need."

Shizuo nudged his shoulder, a dissatisfied mutter of " _Hypocrite_ " buried behind the lighthearted gesture. "Live a little. Just think: there's whole worlds out there that we don't even know about. Even God has Her secrets." When Izaya didn't respond, Shizuo felt his anger bubbling to the surface, though with a simple inhale and exhale he had managed to calm himself down - a feat that had taken decades of practice - and prod Izaya on something that he had pondered for just as long, if not longer. "Why do humans fascinate you so much?"

Izaya didn't even have to think. "They hold so much  _potential_. Humans can be anything they want to be. That's the beauty of free will. I'm...envious of them, really."

"Really?" Shizuo teased, earning a half-hearted glare in response. As if he had said nothing, he carried on. "They really are everything we can't be."

"Regardless," Izaya said, twirling around him, his fur coat flying. "I'll leave the exploring to the humans. It'd be no fun if we did everything for them. Then they'd never know."

Just like that, he was gone.

_Am I envious?_  Shizuo asked himself, gazing up at the stars. No answer found him.

. . .

Even after spending 6000 years on Earth, there was still so much Shizuo didn't know. The biggest mystery of all, however, seemed to be his own feelings. Sure, there were plenty of things he knew about himself: he abhorred violence (leading him to become rather discontent with his violent self), humans intrigued him to the point he couldn't really picture himself leaving them behind, and in spite of him believing so devoutly in the Divine Plan for centuries he now couldn't bare to see the place he had grown to call home destroyed.

And then there was Izaya.

Even having all of the languages of the world at his disposal (or at the very least, a good deal of them), Shizuo could not place a name to their relationship. No single word seemed to describe it right. Then again, Izaya had always been the more articulate one. Regardless of what word he'd inevitably end up using, there was no denying the two had a lengthy history. No matter how many years passed or how far away they were, somehow, they always found each other again.

In the beginning, it had been centuries before they met once again, following their fateful meeting in the Garden of Eden. Shizuo had spent the majority of that time searching for a place to call home amongst the many developing civilizations of the world. Not a one he had tried had ended up working. And yet, as if he had somehow known, Izaya appeared before him just as he was about to return to Heaven as a last resort.

"It's you," Izaya said, his catlike eyes glinting. "Never thought I'd see you again."

"Demon." Shizuo scowled. "What are you doing here?"

Izaya laughed. "Count on an angel to think they're entitled to the Earth." Shizuo's response came in the form of clenched fists, and Izaya snickered again before saying, "Why don't we put our differences aside for a moment and swap stories? I'm sure you've seen many things I haven't."

"What makes you think that?"

"You seem awfully protective of this place."

"Protective?" Shizuo laughed in disbelief.  _How could I be protective when…_

"There he is!"

_"Shit."_  With one single glance between the armed villagers coming his way and a mystified yet charmed Izaya, Shizuo made a run for it - though not before grabbing Izaya's hand.

Once his confusion simmered, Izaya burst out laughing, affirming his grip on Shizuo's hand. "You haven't fallen, have you?"

"No!" Shizuo snapped. "Somehow."

"You know," Izaya started. "I'd love to hear about it, but more importantly: why are we running? You could just miracle us away."

Quietly, Shizuo said, "I don't like using my powers."

Izaya's fascination had now vanished as well. "You're an  _angel._  Your powers are meant to be used." Not waiting for Shizuo to argue more, he snapped his fingers, and the scenery around them was painted anew. Scorching air made way for a gentle ocean breeze, and the forest they had rushed into led to white buildings as far as the eye could see.

Shizuo released Izaya's hand, gazing out at this new world around him. "It's gorgeous. Where are we?"

"Welcome to Greece," Izaya said pridefully. "Let's get you something to eat, and then, you can tell me everything."

Really, Shizuo had no reason to comply. Sure, this demon had kind of saved his skin (or saved the villagers, rather), but it was nothing he hadn't grown used to handling. Besides, this was his mortal enemy - who he had taken by the hand, much to his dismay. Part of him was shocked he didn't combust on the spot.

As Izaya went on ahead, Shizuo followed.

"...Thanks."

. . .

"There's got to be some reason this keeps happening."

Sometime during America's Roaring Twenties, countless millennia since their chance encounter that brought them to Greece, and a solid century since their last meeting and there, right in front of him, was Izaya, who naturally hadn't aged a day. His hair was a bit longer, curled into the all-too popular bob, and his suit was abandoned in favor of a black dress that perfectly complemented Shizuo's white suit. As fate would have it, the two met at a rather lavish party - one that certainly wasn't Shizuo's style, though it  _was_  history in the making. Naturally, Izaya had found him among the large crowd, and without preamble, asked, "May I have this dance?"

"Nice to see you, too," Izaya replied following Shizuo's rather bitter statement, placing one hand on Shizuo's shoulder and the other at his waist as Shizuo hesitantly moved closer. "Still not a fan of coincidence, are we? You could at least pretend to be happy to see me sometimes."

Shizuo opened his mouth, ready to retort, though it took him a moment and an awkward aversion of his eyes to find the words. "I never said I wasn't," he murmured, moving his hand to Izaya's waist.

"God hasn't killed you yet, has She?" Izaya asked. "How long has it been, angel? Just relax and forget about the Plan for one night."

Well, he supposed it was worth a shot.

"Do you feel like you're free?" Shizuo asked after some time, as Izaya nearly fell out of his grasp, though Shizuo soon pulled him back, perhaps a bit too close this time. Realizing his mistake, he took a step back, Izaya silently laughing as he did so.

"Free?" Izaya reiterated, raising his brows in thought.

"I mean...until now you've basically acted like God doesn't exist. You just seem so carefree."

"Make no mistake," Izaya said in a low voice. "We'll never be free, as much as we want to be. This is why we…"

Shizuo blinked, puzzled. "Why we what?"

"It's nothing." Izaya's hands left him behind, much as the rest of him soon did.

Shizuo pushed through the crowd as Izaya vanished into it, calling his name, though he received no answer. When he reached the exit, the cold darkness was all that was there to greet him.

. . .

That wasn't the worst of their meetings, at the very least.

Sometime after Aoba's birth, they met once more, this time in Nishiguchi Park.

"We're the only ones who can do this, Shizu-chan," Izaya implored, though Shizuo couldn't bring himself to face him.

"We're on opposite sides," Shizuo contended, meeting him with a frown.

Izaya laughed, somehow both pained and hysterical. "Do you really still believe that, after all this time? There's only  _our_  side! You've spent so much time here that you've deluded yourself into thinking you're human. But you're not. You never will be. How is it that you've managed to do that, and yet you still…"

"And what happens if we do stop Armageddon together?" Shizuo snapped, stunning Izaya into silence - not an easy feat. "Can we really defy God more than we already have and afford to live with the consequences?"

Agitated, Izaya rose from the bench. "Let me put this in perspective for you: if we manage to pull this off, all of humanity is saved. If we don't, Heaven and Hell will have their fruitless war while a valuable, powerful species dies and provides them nothing more than background noise. Neither side will feel that loss, but we will."

"But-"

"She doesn't care about any of us. I don't know what I can do to make you realize that." Sighing, Izaya placed a hand to his temple. "You don't take anything from anyone, and yet, when it comes to Her…"

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure?"

"We don't really have a choice, do we?"

"That we don't."

. . .

Shizuo had grown all too used to the sight of the universe within the walls of the planetarium, though even after all this time, he couldn't deny that it was gorgeous. It was no wonder that a child like Mikado would want to visit, though he still found himself asking as they exited the building, "So why the planetarium? Are you interested in astrology or somethin'?"

"That'd be astronomy, Shizu-chan," Izaya corrected. "Though I guess it could be both."

Mikado shrugged. "Not really. I just think it's cool that there's so much out there that we don't even know about."

"What  _are_  you interested in?" Izaya prodded innocently.

"I haven't really thought about it," Mikado murmured. "I'm happy with my friends for now."

"Tell us about them, then."

_Aren't you coming on a little strong?_  Shizuo silently asked, peering over at Izaya with concern. Fortunately, Mikado didn't notice, walking between the two as he began to describe his friends.

_You try something, then._  Izaya seemed to reply, though Shizuo shrugged and said nothing more, not willing to interrupt Mikado.

It was...strange...almost, listening to him talk so fondly about the people he cared for. There was just something so mystical and charming about love in all its forms, Shizuo had grown to realize over the years. Was this yearning, he wondered? Did he finally have his answer from him and Izaya's first conversation in the planetarium? To want something he could never have, to experience what was reserved exclusively for humans...he supposed it hurt, just a little.

He kept these thoughts in mind as he rode the escalator up to the top floors of Heaven later that day, discomfort eating away at him as he was greeted by the blinding light.

"Oh, it's you."

The angel Namie scowled as Shizuo came into view - though he supposed she must have already looked that way even before he had arrived. He couldn't recall ever seeing her smile, now that he thought about it. "What do you want?" She added, crossing her arms.

"I just wanted to report in and say that everything's going according to plan. Armageddon is on track to take place in five days; I've made sure of it."

Movement caught Shizuo's attention, along with the near disgusted looks of his brethren, even besides Namie. The eerie violet eyes of Varona seemed to stare into his soul, and even after a quarrel that happened many millennia prior, both Seiji and Mika still refused to look at him.

Shizuo left Heaven with what felt like all eyes on him, and his first instinct was the punch the nearest lamppost. The light, illuminated by Ikebukuro's night, flickered in response, and Shizuo sighed as he leaned against it.

Part of him hoped Hell won, if there was a war.

. . .

The sound of Mikado softly snoring brought Izaya back to reality. Sure enough, the child had fallen asleep beside him, his head resting on the opposite arm of the couch. Izaya might have smiled upon seeing how peaceful Mikado looked, though one of the reporters of Channel 666 News saying, "Breaking news," stole his attention and smile away. Mikado stirred in his sleep as the report played, and Izaya slowly moved away from the couch over to his game board. As the report went on, all sorts of pieces were rearranged, though unlike usual, he couldn't find happiness in this change of events.

Grimly, he said, despite knowing no one would hear, "Clock's ticking, Shizu-chan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (stand by me oneeegaiiii)
> 
> And the angst begins! I hope I didn't break away from the appeal of the story too much by making this a more serious chapter, but I think it was necessary. The plot should really get rolling (and the usual tone will be back) in the next chapter - I should be just about done setting everything up, aside from introducing some other characters that will show up later. I tried to keep the flashbacks to a minimum to not make this longer than it had to be, but I could honestly write a whole series of side stories about Shizuo and Izaya during those 6000 years.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading, and I'll hopefully see you again soon!


End file.
